For the last twenty years, numerous well-intentioned programs have emerged focused on preventing sex abuse within churches. While prevention is undoubtedly important, these programs often overlook a crucial group: those who have already been victimized before joining the church. What about them? Where do they turn for help? Too often, they find themselves looking for help, hope, and healing outside the church. Can't we -and shouldn't we- do better?
The Fearless Series for Women is a program helping churches and victims navigate the trauma of sexual abuse after it has occurred. Rather than focusing solely on prevention, Fearless directly addresses past trauma and facilitates healing.
You Gotta Problem, Punk?
Yeah, I do.
Many pastors resist the Fearless series, offering a mix of legitimate concerns and less substantial excuses. Let's examine these objections individually and determine which, if any, hold up under scrutiny.
We'll systematically dismantle these arguments, using a process my Baylor professors (who, let's be honest, love a good polysyllabic word) would call a "logically bifurcating argument." But since I'm not on their payroll, I'll just call it "Pushing Back the Pushback."
DEBUNKING POWERS, ACTIVATE!
1. PUSHBACK: RECOVERY ISN'T PRETTY
Growth and recovery, much like a flower pushing through earth, manure, and rain, can be a messy and challenging process. It involves overcoming obstacles and enduring difficult times. Why bring such pain and ugliness into the church?
Pushing Back The Pushback Why? Because the initial struggle doesn't obviate the ultimate goal of restoration and repentance. Eventually, strength and beauty will emerge. For those who have experienced trauma, sharing their stories with others who understand can diminish feelings of shame and reveal new possibilities. This act of supporting others embodies "Love others as yourself" (Mark 12:30-31), a core commandment for any church. So why not IN the church?
Consider this: any church that is willing to walk alongside you through your past struggles, your "manure and rain," genuinely desires to see you find healing and hope. That hope, that light, is Jesus. And what pastor wouldn't want to guide their congregation toward that light?
2. PUSHBACK: BAD OPTICS FOR THE PROSPERITY GOSPEL
Like everyone else, pastors naturally want to see growth in their churches. Tracking attendance is a simple way to measure and showcase this growth.
However, focusing solely on increasing numbers can lead some pastors to prioritize popularity over substance. They pander to the audience and become hesitant to address difficult issues for fear of alienating potential or current members, ultimately hindering the spiritual growth of the congregation. So the mere idea of addressing past sexual abuse is too "cutting-edge" and unthinkable.
Pushing Back The Pushback
In 1 Corinthians 5, Paul instructs believers to address pain and distress within their community, aiming for repentance and restoration. People who bring prior trauma with them when joining a church need to feel understood before they can fully engage with their salvation. The Fearless series directly addresses this need.
Furthermore, while attracting "pretty parishioners" might be a short-term goal, the reality is that many people have left the church due to feeling unheard and unseen. These individuals represent a significant opportunity for growth. The Fearless series offers a way to bring these people back into the church and fill those empty seats.
3. PUSHBACK: INCREASED TIME DEMAND ON PASTORS
We understand that pastors are busy people. They're often pulled in many directions, from baptisms and potlucks to more serious matters. All told, Pastors typically spend 95% of their 110 waking hours on ministry-related duties.
This isn't a new problem; even Moses experienced this, as described in Exodus 18:14-26. His father-in-law, Jethro, advised him to delegate responsibilities. Moses took this advice and appointed leaders over groups of thousands, hundreds, fifties, and tens.
Pushing Back The Pushback
Similarly, churches today can benefit from delegation. While not every church can be as large as LifeChurch in Oklahoma, with its 76,000 weekly attendees, the Fearless programs offer busy Pastors a manageable solution.
Fearless only requires one or two trained lay ministers or church members to lead sessions, freeing up the pastor's time. Pastors are not expected to run the Fearless sessions themselves. Ever.
Note: If a megachurch Pastor offers to visit your sickbed, you don't wanna be that sick.
4. PUSHBACK: IT'S JUST TOO CLOSE TO HOME
Pastors and church staff are also human beings with their own struggles. They may be dealing with hidden personal issues, such as their own experiences with abuse (either as a victim or perpetrator), or struggles with pornography.
If these topics are addressed in the church, people could become deeply uncomfortable and even fear for their livelihood. It simply "hits too close to home".
Case in Point: A recent George Barna study found that 70-75% of Christian men and 30-35% of pastors struggle with pornography. And half of practicing Christians admit they use pornography.
And these figures only represent people comfortable enough to admit their struggle. Consider the potential consequences if you were struggling with this issue and it became public knowledge. What impact would that have on your marriage, family, and career?
The incentive for silence and avoidance is very, very high.
Pushing Back The Pushback
Fearless addresses the sensitive issue of past abuse with confidentiality and care. It's not about assigning blame, recognizing that many who have been abused may also struggle with pornography or even cause harm to others.
We have a responsibility to act, rather than passively waiting for divine intervention. Fearless volunteers act as spiritual first responders, identifying the pain, providing initial support, and preparing individuals to experience the healing and hope found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
5. PUSHBACK: LAZINESS
Considering the demanding schedules of most Pastors (see above), we must remember that they are people, too, with varying capacities and motivations. Some are diligent, while others may be exhausted, burned out, or unmotivated to implement new programs.
Or they might prefer to prioritize existing, well-established programs. But anything new would require additional effort and should be resisted.
Pushing Back The Pushback
The Fearless program was created by an overworked and exhausted former Pastor James Reeves, who led City on a Hill DFW for 37 years. Those are Tom Landry numbers, so you know he's seen more than his share of radical new church programs. As a result, he has designed with the Pastor in mind.
Or should I say, with the Pastor out of sight... and out of mind?
Fearless operates without the pastor's direct involvement (and even their indirect involvement is slightly discouraged). It's 100% volunteer-led, and all necessary resources—training videos, survivor testimonies, and participant materials—are pre-prepared and readily available. Pastors will just have to obsess over something else because this program is not on their plate.
So, to answer the questions "What about them?" and "Where do they turn for help?". The answer is YOUR CHURCH.
There's no excuse not to.
During Covid, the author rediscovered cityonahilldfw.com. Post-vaccination he snuck into a service and felt zero social pressure. He's a member now and everyone knows he sucks at small talk. They don't care: it ain't that kind of church.
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